I really wish I would learn more about patience.
I did a terrible thing to my husband and I feel awful about it. You see, DH has the best intentions at heart.. always. At the heat of the moment, I know I can bite his head off with a scowl, a snap or a bark.
This time, I did the worst. I yelled at him and hollered "WHAT?!" way before he even was going to say or get my attention. I don't like it, I don't even like me or myself now. I don't like what I see in the mirror. It's ugly.
I can't wait for DH to come home from the store as I need to apologise to him.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The real meaning of patience
Patience- "pay-shunce" as pronounced by me. I "Wiki'ed" up the meaning if patience and got this,
Sometimes I wonder if my patience is being tested these days. My husband, bless his heart, I know I test his patience when I'm whining or being cranky. Chris, what a real gentleman, he listens and encourages me to think positive.
If you recall the last entry, I went through quite a challenging visit at the hospital as I didn't have an intervenor to interpret for me. Chris was able to interpret for me in between us using the pen and paper with the on-call emergency neuro-ophthalmologist at the E.R.
Today I got an email from the ophthalmologist's secretary as the ophthalmologist was away on holidays but wanted to know how I was doing and how everything was going. It is nice to know that the doctors do care about how things are progressing.
I do have an appointment to go to London, ON to see another neuro-ophthalmologist as the visual fields test I had was drastically different than the one I had less than a year ago.
This does teach me a lot about patience. Movies with subtitles are much more appreciated than movies with Closed Captioning because subtitles are much more easier to read than Closed Captioning.
I love my quality time with Chris and our furkids. When we all sit and relax, this is when I do really unwind. We have a standard bed and it is really small for all 4 of us. We all want a king sized bed and this would be amazing for all of us. We could live in our bedroom!
Patience (ˈpā-shənz) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.
Sometimes I wonder if my patience is being tested these days. My husband, bless his heart, I know I test his patience when I'm whining or being cranky. Chris, what a real gentleman, he listens and encourages me to think positive.
If you recall the last entry, I went through quite a challenging visit at the hospital as I didn't have an intervenor to interpret for me. Chris was able to interpret for me in between us using the pen and paper with the on-call emergency neuro-ophthalmologist at the E.R.
Today I got an email from the ophthalmologist's secretary as the ophthalmologist was away on holidays but wanted to know how I was doing and how everything was going. It is nice to know that the doctors do care about how things are progressing.
I do have an appointment to go to London, ON to see another neuro-ophthalmologist as the visual fields test I had was drastically different than the one I had less than a year ago.
This does teach me a lot about patience. Movies with subtitles are much more appreciated than movies with Closed Captioning because subtitles are much more easier to read than Closed Captioning.
I love my quality time with Chris and our furkids. When we all sit and relax, this is when I do really unwind. We have a standard bed and it is really small for all 4 of us. We all want a king sized bed and this would be amazing for all of us. We could live in our bedroom!
Friday, November 14, 2008
I'm staying here but my eyes and mind's going places!
It's been an overwhelming week safe to say. I've been staying put but my mind & eyes have been going places without my permission and I'm not a happy camper about this.
Trying to deal with a constantly racing mind and diminishing vision is something for me to learn about myself and my patience. I can appreciate how I can tolerate how much I can go as far as I can without showing my frustrations. It's hard, believe me.
Wednesday, I went for my ophthalmologist appointment at 2 pm and I thought it was routine. Check my vision using the Visual Fields test and a couple of simple tests with the student teachers and off I was on my way. Nope, it was totally opposite. Since I failed the visual fields test, my left eye compared to the last test I had, it shows rapid progression of my failing eyesight.
The doctors tried a newer prescription that I was going to have filled but decided to wait out because with my history of diminishing eyesight, I elected to wait. It turned out my decision to wait was best. The newer prescription didn't work for me.
I explained to the ophthalmologist that for the left eye,6 months ago it was like looking through sheer drapery, right now, it is like looking through silk drapery. Just so hard to try to make out who is who. Faces I cannot do, shapes I can if they are white shapes.
The ophthalmologist jotted down on paper with such seriousness on his face, "I am very worried about the high intracranial pressure. We must send you to the hospital for more testings now."
I was puzzled because I normally have an intervenor from the CNIB with me at my appointments. My regular one is on her honeymoon and the substitute replaced her called in sick & tried hard to find a replacement but to no avail. I went ahead without no intervenor.
Hubby and I arrived at St. Mary's Hospital around 4:30 pm. A battery of tests and by 10:30 pm, the doctor wanted to transfer me to another hospital for an MRI. I was way past physically exhausted and now to the point of being emotionally exhausted.
I was praying and hoping to be released first before I was transferred to another hospital because I needed to really sleep in my own bed and get a lot of rest as well. I was medicated already with Ativan and a strong narcotic that just knocked the senses out of me.
Hubby and I got home after 11:30 pm and I just wanted to crawl into bed but before we did, he made us something light to eat so I could have something in my tummy.
I slept until 10 am and was exhausted. The hospital called and informed I had an MRI appointment at the other hospital so I had to phone CNIB to make sure I had an intervenor for this appointment. Safe to say, I slept the whole day and night away.
Today, my CNIB intervenor arrived and drove me to the other hospital for the MRI. I was just still tired, groggy-feeling as well. At the hospital, I had to fill out forms, make sure that I was aware of the MRI machine, I informed the technician that I was going to take Ativan because I'm terribly claustrophobic of small enclosures.
The MRI, is a small and tight enclosure for me to be inside!! Ativan and an injection dye into the IV , 45 minutes long, pretty much I just slept inside the MRI enclosure. Today is just an odd feeling of not being present with the surroundings.
Today is Mosey's Happy Gotcha Day and we went to Bark and Fitz to get him presents. I just wasn't feeling well so Chris did most of the things for me. Bless my family! I don't know what I could have done without my husband and our two furkids!
Hubby did a wonderful thing for me to show how my vision is. Before I used to see (both eyes) it used to be like looking through two toilet paper rolls. Now for me, my left eye has no vision. The right eye is so limited. It is like looking at one toilet paper roll right in the middle of the face.
With this setback and all the hospital testings/visits, I hope there's nothing serious with the high intracranial pressure. All I do know from the ophthalmologists, the optometrists and the doctors I saw in the few days, I have been told to take it easy. I am due to go back to London, ON for the Ivey Eye Institute because this is a very serious concern.
Hugs to you all my dear friends. I have been checking you all on your blogs.
Tactile smile,
Patty oxox
Trying to deal with a constantly racing mind and diminishing vision is something for me to learn about myself and my patience. I can appreciate how I can tolerate how much I can go as far as I can without showing my frustrations. It's hard, believe me.
Wednesday, I went for my ophthalmologist appointment at 2 pm and I thought it was routine. Check my vision using the Visual Fields test and a couple of simple tests with the student teachers and off I was on my way. Nope, it was totally opposite. Since I failed the visual fields test, my left eye compared to the last test I had, it shows rapid progression of my failing eyesight.
The doctors tried a newer prescription that I was going to have filled but decided to wait out because with my history of diminishing eyesight, I elected to wait. It turned out my decision to wait was best. The newer prescription didn't work for me.
I explained to the ophthalmologist that for the left eye,6 months ago it was like looking through sheer drapery, right now, it is like looking through silk drapery. Just so hard to try to make out who is who. Faces I cannot do, shapes I can if they are white shapes.
The ophthalmologist jotted down on paper with such seriousness on his face, "I am very worried about the high intracranial pressure. We must send you to the hospital for more testings now."
I was puzzled because I normally have an intervenor from the CNIB with me at my appointments. My regular one is on her honeymoon and the substitute replaced her called in sick & tried hard to find a replacement but to no avail. I went ahead without no intervenor.
Hubby and I arrived at St. Mary's Hospital around 4:30 pm. A battery of tests and by 10:30 pm, the doctor wanted to transfer me to another hospital for an MRI. I was way past physically exhausted and now to the point of being emotionally exhausted.
I was praying and hoping to be released first before I was transferred to another hospital because I needed to really sleep in my own bed and get a lot of rest as well. I was medicated already with Ativan and a strong narcotic that just knocked the senses out of me.
Hubby and I got home after 11:30 pm and I just wanted to crawl into bed but before we did, he made us something light to eat so I could have something in my tummy.
I slept until 10 am and was exhausted. The hospital called and informed I had an MRI appointment at the other hospital so I had to phone CNIB to make sure I had an intervenor for this appointment. Safe to say, I slept the whole day and night away.
Today, my CNIB intervenor arrived and drove me to the other hospital for the MRI. I was just still tired, groggy-feeling as well. At the hospital, I had to fill out forms, make sure that I was aware of the MRI machine, I informed the technician that I was going to take Ativan because I'm terribly claustrophobic of small enclosures.
The MRI, is a small and tight enclosure for me to be inside!! Ativan and an injection dye into the IV , 45 minutes long, pretty much I just slept inside the MRI enclosure. Today is just an odd feeling of not being present with the surroundings.
Today is Mosey's Happy Gotcha Day and we went to Bark and Fitz to get him presents. I just wasn't feeling well so Chris did most of the things for me. Bless my family! I don't know what I could have done without my husband and our two furkids!
Hubby did a wonderful thing for me to show how my vision is. Before I used to see (both eyes) it used to be like looking through two toilet paper rolls. Now for me, my left eye has no vision. The right eye is so limited. It is like looking at one toilet paper roll right in the middle of the face.
With this setback and all the hospital testings/visits, I hope there's nothing serious with the high intracranial pressure. All I do know from the ophthalmologists, the optometrists and the doctors I saw in the few days, I have been told to take it easy. I am due to go back to London, ON for the Ivey Eye Institute because this is a very serious concern.
Hugs to you all my dear friends. I have been checking you all on your blogs.
Tactile smile,
Patty oxox
Sunday, November 2, 2008
O'Canada!
You Are Canada |
 You are a very tolerant person. You appreciate diversity and consider yourself a multiculturalist. You are also very community oriented. You think it's important to help those around you have a better life. You're uniquely you. You have been able to resist bad influences and stay true to yourself. You are usually confident in who you are, but occasionally you have a little inferiority complex. |
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