Cranky, crotchety, crabby...
I'm just feeling plain and simple ... Cranky, crotchety, crabby.
Bless hubby's heart. He moved the TV from the living room to the bedroom so I could lay in bed and not be bored out of my mind. We're watching Richard Pryor oldies.
"Car Wash" - watching that & typing this entry.
I'll be honest as this past week has been quite tough on me emotionally. I have to tell myself in my mind to try not to use my emotions to make my decisions. To use my mind to make decisions logically and make decisions wisely, not emotionally.
I am appreciative that I had my intervenor with me, she is what I call my good friend now. Dawn intervened for me at the doctor's appointment and I'm able to fully communicate with the doctor now with no apprehensions.
The doctor agreed with me that my anxiety medication needed to be increased the double dosage. Effexor had been working then my vision diminished and my anxiety had been worsening because I would only go out with people I trusted. People like my husband, Chris, Dawn and other people that I communicated my boundaries/limitations with.
Those circle of people, I would say are quite small... unfortunately not even my immediate family realises how bad my anxiety is. This past Christmas I was not able to be really involved with the conversations and relied on Chris to tactile for me/keep me involved in ASL conversations.
This was what sent me for a downfall because in a way I don't think I was emotionally prepared for it. I was logically prepared, yes, emotionally prepared. I honestly don't think anyone is ever prepared for their own family's disconnection.
The disconnection is never intentional.. it just is.
Usually it takes families the longest time to reconnect as a new unit because communicating is a whole new ballgame.
Yeah, that'd explain why I'm really cranky, crotchety, crabby today....it feels better typing this out.
I know I'm not the only one who experiences this "alienation".
Tactile smile and 90 Love!
Patty oxox
No comments:
Post a Comment